Come Rain or Come Shine by Linda Hale Bucklin

Author:Linda Hale Bucklin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ePublishing Works!
Published: 2018-08-01T16:00:00+00:00

Comment: Friendships thrive when help is a reciprocal part of the relationship. We all want to feel needed. Helping a friend and allowing a friend to help us satisfy those needs. Knowing we can count on a friend's help and vice versa strengthens the loving bond between us in a healthy way. In communicating clearly, the scales can be brought back into balance.

Chapter 4

Truth and Honesty in Friendships

Truth begins with ourselves. The greater our own honesty and authenticity, the more we will expect that in our friendships. The more integrated we are as to our own feelings and beliefs, the more that translates into speaking our truth to friends.

We want to feel we are making a difference in a friend's life. To do that we need to be real and vulnerable. Friendships based on mutual truth telling deepen as each friend tells her truth and receives her friend's truth.

If we know a friend is speaking from her heart, we can honor her whether or not we agree. As a consequence we learn and grow from the differences between us. When friends have created a relationship with truth as a foundation, the respect that comes from that is more important than agreement.

* * *

Clara and Nancy, roommates and good friends, had standing plans to walk every Friday night. One Friday afternoon, Nancy heard Clara accept an invitation to go out with her new beau. Nancy was hurt that Clara, without even consulting her, had been so willing to ignore their plans. She spoke right out, saying she felt unimportant, definitely second-fiddle, and did not like being dropped for a man. Clara understood where she was coming from and apologized for hurting her. They are still best friends because they can tell each other the truth and are willing to hear each other's point of view even when they disagree.

* * *

After a whirlwind romance, Fran became engaged to a man her friend Simone knew was a womanizer. Simone warned her, and initially Fran resisted. However, Fran respected Simone and decided to postpone the wedding six months. During that time, the man showed his true colors, and Fran, heartbroken, ended the engagement. But she felt very grateful to Simone for telling her the truth.

* * *

Pat invited Virginia, a single writer friend, to join her for a casual dinner with an out-of-town friend of Pat's, also a writer. At first, Virginia accepted, then called back and said she'd forgotten about a prior engagement. Pat sensed Virginia was lying and confronted her, saying, "It's O.K. with me if you've changed your mind and decided you don't want to come, but I know you don't have anything else to do. What bothers me is that you lied to me." Virginia quickly admitted to her lie, explaining she was feeling introverted and afraid to go out. Pat reassured her, Virginia went, and she had a great time. Virginia acknowledged the truth of her actions and what her friend had said to her, enabling the friendship to grow.

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